As the family gathers around the television to watch the local news, Lois admits her fondness of the new co-anchor, Joyce Kinney. Later that day, the family attends church, and while there, Lois learns of a local bake sale, and decides to bring her own baked goods. Going to the store to buy ingredients, Lois notices Kinney shopping there as well, and approaches her. The two quickly become close friends, and they decide to spend the day together at the [...]

Peter becomes obsessed with drinking Red Bull. Upset with his over-energetic ways, Lois throws away all of his Red Bull. Peter then tries to make his own energy drink using car fuel. After drinking it, Peter has heart failure, and he needs a kidney transplant. Brian offers him one of his. Meanwhile, Chris is chosen to introduce United States President Barack Obama at his school after winning an essay contest. Trouble is, Meg wrote the essay. OR

Lois runs into her old friend Naomi, who reveals that she and her husband are having difficulty conceiving a child. She then asks Lois if she will be a surrogate mother. Lois decides to do so, and Peter becomes upset when he finds out. Despite this, Lois has the procedure performed, and Peter attempts to cause Lois to have a miscarriage. Suddenly, the local news reveals there has been a car crash, with Naomi and her husband pronounced dead. Devastated, [...]

Chris tells his parents that he has been suspended from school for telling a dirty joke. Revealing he heard it from Quagmire, Peter questions where Quagmire heard the joke and eventually finds that the joke originated with a Virginia bartender. Setting out from Quahog, the group enters the bar in question and find that it was Cleveland who told the bartender the joke. When Cleveland is asked where he heard it, he reveals that it was from a bellhop in [...]

Joe and Peter visit Quagmire, and are introduced to his father, Dan. They are surprised by Dan’s gay mannerisms, however, and after Quagmire invites Peter and Lois to the Naval Ball to be held in his father’s honor, they begin arguing over the issue. Quagmire confronts Dan, and his father states that he has scheduled a sex change. The surgery is a success, and Dan emerges as “Ida.” That night, Ida and Quagmire join the Griffins for dinner. Quagmire becomes [...]

Brian and Stewie get locked in a bank vault and become trapped. Brian wakes up in the middle of the night and opens a bottle of scotch. When he accidentally wakes up Stewie, they share the scotch. While drunk, Stewie tells Brian that his life has no purpose, and Brian becomes infuriated. A fight ensues, and Stewie draws a gun from Brian’s safety deposit box in the vault. The next morning, Stewie asks Brian why he has the gun, and [...]

The people of Quahog are misled into believing that a black hole will suck up the entire planet in just 24 hours, and all life on Earth will be destroyed. Everybody in Quahog then frantically tries to live out their last day on Earth. Right before the timer runs out, Peter confesses that he hates being around his kids. This puts him in an awkward position when the black hole turns out to have just been an April Fools’ Day [...]

Stewie finds an old script that Brian wrote, and suggests Lois read it. Reluctant to at first, Lois ends up loving it, and suggests he meet with executives about producing a drama show. Brian pitches the script to CBS, who respond positively. The producers bring in James Woods, however, who wins the role. The CBS executives then turn Brian’s drama into a comedy. Frustrated, Brian tries to make them return to the original plot, but ends up quitting when they [...]

Peter becomes a paparazzo, and begins recording local celebrities, including Ollie Williams, who breaks Peter’s glasses. Unable to get his glasses fixed for work, he decides to wear contacts. Once he arrives, his boss, Angela, begins making sexual advances. Peter agrees to have sex with her, but soon backs out, resulting in him being fired. Later that night, Peter drives back to Angela’s house and discovers she is attempting to commit suicide. He rescues her, and Angela confesses that she [...]

Brian notices Stewie watching Jolly Farm Revue, and tells him about upcoming auditions for the show. They go to the auditions but learn that only girls are being interviewed. Stewie then cross-dresses to get an audition, naming his new identity “Karina” and wins the role. Later, Stewie falls in love with Julie, who professes her love for Karina, wishing that she was a boy, and Stewie reveals his true self. Shocked, Julie refuses to speak to him, and Stewie regrets [...]